I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Help. Why am I so naked?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
