It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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