Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
