It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
