Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
