I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
