So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
