i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize