You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
