covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
