Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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