Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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