My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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