I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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