hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize
