In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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