Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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