it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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