I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
