I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
