so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
