I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
