toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
