i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
