We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why didn't you poke me back
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
