i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
