Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
