where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize