Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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