on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
