My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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