who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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