Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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