I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I love you.
Bad choice
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
