so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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