what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
