PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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