i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
