We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
