There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he was CRYING into my vagina
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
