Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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