Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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