Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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