he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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