So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
