We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
