his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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