My sheets look like a crime scene.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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