Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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