I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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