If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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