So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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