Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
