Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
