he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
