That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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