Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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