oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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