i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
