There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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