i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
