just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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