I think my fart just growled at me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
