i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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