so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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