is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
